what do you call it?

There is definitely not a day that goes by, that I dont think of him. every encounter is so vividly remembered. i can smell him when i think about him. his touch, is almost indescribable.  the earth stands still, immediately at the meeting of our skin, and for that moment, I'm in one of the best elements of my life. my heart floats, my smile is involuntary, and engulfs my entire being.  I just want to be in his presence, even if no words are exchanged, his company is enough for me. His eyes melt me. His smile is breathtaking! The sound of his voice makes my eardrums rejoice, and I'm swept away by his tone. Have you ever seen a chocolate coated human?  I have! Its a beautiful thing.. His skin is so even toned and amazingly smooth, I could caress him endlessly. he knows I have feelings for him, but has no idea of the depth. Outside of me wanting to ultimately do better for myself.. I work so hard, because I want him to know I am a woman, who in his time of need, could hold him down ( don't worry, he's an amazing businessman, he needs me for nothing more than companionship) one of my favorite pass times is laying on a couch near him, while he sleeps. it lets me know he feels comfortable with me, and when hes deep into his sleep, ill gently rub his head, or back, which is usually received, with a deep sigh. almost seeming like a sigh of relief that he doesn't even realize he's doing, because hes out cold. and then i just lay there, and watch whatever's playing. He and I  have the most fun together. He makes me laugh, he tells me things  I need to hear, we joke( well, he jokes me) we watch sports, music, movies, HGTV, dinner, movies, etc.. Out of everything we've ever done, my ultimate favorite, thing remains, our couch time. what does all of this amount to? Lust? love? Infatuation? some might be swayed one way, while others think the other way. me, I call it  heartbreak... NW